Simply put, making yourself a priority means taking care of yourself, in whatever shape or form that looks like to you. The main point is working on meeting your own needs, and it can be accomplished in different forms including physically, emotionally, mentally, psychologically, socially, dietarily, etc. You may wonder: How do I make myself a priority? What’s the benefit of self-care? Why is it important to meet my needs? This week, we will explore ways you can prioritize yourself and the potential benefits you can experience.
How do you make yourself a priority? First things first–focus on your needs! You may sometimes feel that you need to divide your attention to other tasks (i.e. helping family/friends, your job/career, socializing, etc). But know that you also need time to focus on what’s best for you. After all, the hard truth is that life can and will still go on even if you’re not available to assist. As such, for your own benefit, prioritize yourself so you can get the best out of life. Take a look at our The First Step To Self Love: Focus On You blog for some additional tips. To prioritize yourself, take these things into consideration:
- Know that it is not selfish to prioritize yourself. Focusing on yourself allows you to build up positive emotions, resilience, self-awareness, and more. It is also beneficial for others (although that is not the main point). One of the reasons people often feel empty is because they’re constantly giving to others without filling themselves. In other words, they’re depleting their already empty reserves. This can lead to feelings of frustration, anger, loneliness, emptiness, unfulfillment, isolation, etc. After all, you can’t give what you don’t have. Take a look at our blog here for some tips on what you can do instead of people-pleasing
- Think about what really needs to be done. Sometimes, we may feel or think that “I have to do this,” “I’m the only one that can do this,” or “this person needs my help.” While it is nice to help others, it shouldn’t always be at a cost to yourself. Being relied upon or appreciated can feel nice, but you never want it to get to a point where you are now expected to do something you initially only volunteered to do. Consider the fact that even if you’re not there, the task can be done.
- Identify one kind of self-care that is most important to you and schedule it.
Try doing these things:
- Do self-affirmations: Compliment yourself. Do some self-affirmations (at least once a day).
- Appreciation yourself: Take yourself out on a date. Treat yourself to something nice (that dress you’ve been wanting, that restaurant you keep passing by, that vacation you’ve been wanting to take, etc.).
- Know that it’s okay to say “no”. Though it may feel awkward, it’s okay to no to a request that may end up overwhelming. Sometimes, you just need to take a step back and take a break.
Let’s look at Megan, one of my weight-loss clients, as an example: Megan often skipped lunch because she was busy with work. We worked together to find a solution. A conclusion we reached was to put lunch on her calendar. She was able to honor it by getting away from her desk to eat lunch and went for a walk to clear her mind. Then, she no longer ate candy in the afternoon and stopped overeating at dinner.
What’s the benefit of self-care? Martínez et al. (2021) states that self-care is “The ability to care for oneself through awareness, self-control, and self-reliance in order to achieve, maintain, or promote optimal health and well-being.” Basically, it’s ensuring that you are bettering yourself in different aspects of your life such (i.e. physically, emotionally, mentally, psychologically, socially, etc.) Self care is different for everyone. Some may find comfort in simply relaxing at home while others like to be out and about. Forms of self care can include traveling, getting a massage, taking a nap, getting a pedicure and/or manicure, taking yourself away from your daily routine, walking, exercising, etc. Self-care allows you to be in the spotlight of your life. Try taking a look at our Self Care Tips blog for some starter points, as it offers some helpful ideas and information.
Over the weekend, Megan engaged in several self-care activities, including yoga, self pedicures. These activities helped her to feel better about herself and made her happier. She was able to worry less and relax more. This time allowed her to think more about what’s important to her.
Why is it important to meet your needs? According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs, “the needs are: physiological (food and clothing), safety (job security), love and belonging needs (friendship), esteem, and self-actualization.” (McLeod, 2022). When needs aren’t met, you may feel a sense of separation from people and/or your surroundings. You may not feel like yourself, or may feel that something is missing, incomplete, or not quite right. There may be little to no motivation to do anything, and in extreme cases depression may occur. Thus, it’s important to pay attention to not only the basic needs (food, sleep, shelter, clothing, water, etc.) but also secondary needs (i.e. sense of achievement, social relations, etc.). Properly meeting your needs allows you to be a happier version of yourself. When this happens, you are better able to function and complete tasks. In addition, you’re more motivated to go after your goals.
Megan was able to realize that putting herself and her needs first allowed her to have a clearer mindset and firmer attitude in terms of what she wanted and needed. While she still helped others when needed, she realized that she was the only person who could truly take care of and prioritize herself.
Overall, making yourself a priority allows you time to self-reflect on your needs and/or wants in life. When they are met, you are more likely to get fulfillment out of life so you can enjoy each day as it comes.
Martínez, N., Connelly, C. D., Pérez, A., & Calero, P. (2021). Self-care: A concept analysis. International Journal of Nursing Sciences, 8(4), 418–425. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ijnss.2021.08.007
McLeod, S. A. (2022, April 04). Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Simply Psychology. www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html
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Kay Loughrey, MPH, RDN, LDN
Transformational Speaker, Breakthrough Coach, Nutritionist-Dietitian
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