Compassion and Kindness: Small Choices That Change How We Cope

We often think healthier choices begin with greater willpower.

In reality, they often begin with greater kindness.

Many of the choices we later regret such as overeating, skipping exercise, working through exhaustion, or reaching for sweets after a stressful meeting aren’t failures of discipline. More often, they’re attempts to cope with uncomfortable emotions.

Our beliefs shape these daily decisions, often without our awareness. When we’re stressed, lonely, disappointed, or overwhelmed, our minds naturally look for relief. The question is whether we respond with criticism or compassion.

Where Does Kindness Begin?

It begins within ourselves.

Most of us would never speak to a friend the way we sometimes speak to ourselves.

Perhaps you’ve heard that inner voice say:

“You should have done better.”

“Why can’t you stay on track?”

“You’ll never change.”

These thoughts rarely inspire healthier choices. More often, they leave us discouraged and make comfort food, overworking, or other coping behaviors feel even more appealing.

When you notice harsh self-talk, pause and ask yourself:

“Would I say this to someone I care about?”

If the answer is no, consider offering yourself the same compassion you would naturally extend to a friend.

Notice the People Who Shape Your Energy

Another source of kindness comes from the people with whom we spend our time.

Pay attention to how you feel after spending time with different people.

Who leaves you feeling encouraged?

Who leaves you feeling drained or unappreciated?

These experiences influence far more than our emotions. They often shape our health behaviors.

One client, Jane, realized she regularly reached for food after board meetings where she felt dismissed and unheard. It wasn’t hunger that drove her to eat. It was the emotional sting of feeling invisible.

Another client, Phil, noticed that after spending long days covering unfinished work left by his team, he rewarded himself with candy each afternoon. The candy wasn’t solving the problem yet it briefly softened feelings of frustration and resentment.

These examples remind us that emotional eating often has very little to do with food.

It begins with emotions that have nowhere else to go.

Three Simple Practices That Cultivate Compassion

The good news is that kindness can be practiced.

Small daily rituals help us interrupt automatic habits and create space for healthier choices.

Practice One: Notice What Is Going Well

Research has shown that regularly identifying three things you’re grateful for—and why—can increase optimism and improve emotional well-being.

This doesn’t ignore life’s challenges.

It simply trains our attention to notice what is also going well.

Practice Two: Offer Yourself and Others Loving Kindness

One practice I return to often is the Loving Kindness Meditation.

It gently reminds us to wish ourselves and others the same peace and well-being we so easily offer everyone else.

You might quietly repeat:

For yourself

May I be happy.

May I be peaceful.

May I be healthy.

May I live with ease.

For someone else

May you be happy.

May you be peaceful.

May you be healthy.

May you live with ease.

This simple practice takes only a minute or two but can noticeably shift your mindset.

Practice Three: Turn an Ordinary Moment into a Mindful Ritual

Choose one thing you already do every day and give it your full attention.

It might be your morning coffee.

An afternoon cup of tea.

Walking outside between meetings.

Taking a few slow breaths before opening your laptop.

Rather than rushing through the moment, treat it as a brief ceremony that reconnects you with yourself.

These small pauses help reset both body and mind.

Choosing Differently

In a life filled with constant demands, it’s easy to let unconscious habits take over.

Small practices of kindness and awareness interrupt that cycle. They create just enough space to choose differently and intentionally though not perfectly.

The goal isn’t perfection.

It’s preserving your energy, strengthening your resilience, and making choices that support both your health and your life.

I explore these patterns in much greater depth in my book, Happy Life at a Healthy Weight, where I share practical tools and real-life examples of replacing self-criticism with compassion and building sustainable habits that last.

For more insight into building helpful and sustainable habits, explore our previous blog post article: Well-Being: Life is Beautiful. This blog post is about resetting intentions before returning from your next vacation or business trip for enhanced, sustainable energy, health, and well-being.

Continue the Conversation

If you’re a senior leader or business owner who feels your health has gradually taken a back seat to the demands of work, you’re not alone.

I’m currently accepting a limited number of private clients who want to:

• Restore sustainable energy and resilience.
• Build health practices that work in real life—not just during good weeks.
• Reduce stress without adding more to an already full schedule.
• Create a life they have the stamina to enjoy.

If this resonates with you, I invite you to schedule a confidential consultation.

Reference

Loughrey, K. (2024). Happy Life at a Healthy Weight.

With appreciation,

Kay Loughrey, MPH, MSM, RDN
Lifestyle Curator | Advisor for Sustainable Leadership and Health
Registered Dietitian-Nutritionist

“Sustainable Leadership. Enduring Health. A Life You Have the Stamina to Enjoy.”