When people think about a new year, they usually think about outcomes. Lose weight. Eat better. Exercise more.
Those goals sound reasonable, but they rely heavily on motivation staying high.
By February or March, progress slows. Life gets busy. Motivation fades. And suddenly it feels like you’re failing at something you were supposed to want badly enough.
Chapter 11 of Happy Life at a Healthy Weight offers a different place to start. Not with what you want to have, but with who you want to be.
Why Outcome-Based Goals Don’t Last
Focusing only on results puts all the pressure on the endpoint. The scale. The clothing size. The finish line.
When that’s the only focus, motivation depends on quick progress. And when progress slows, frustration takes over. This is why so many people feel energized at the beginning of the year and discouraged a few months later.
The goal hasn’t changed, but the energy behind it slowly disappears.
A Different Way to Think About Change
Chapter 11 introduces a simple but powerful mindset shift, inspired by James Clear’s Atomic Habits: BE → DO → HAVE
Most people start with HAVE:
- “I want to have weight loss.”
- “I want to have more energy.”
But lasting change works better when you reverse the order. You start with BE: Who do you want to be in 2026?
From there, you decide what you’ll DO to support that identity. And over time, those actions lead to what you HAVE.
Starting With Who You Want to Be
This isn’t about creating a perfect version of yourself. It’s about deciding who you want to be before worrying about what you want to achieve.
Identity isn’t a list of behaviors. It’s a vision rooted in beliefs about who you are. For example, an identity might sound like: “I am healthy and fit. I prioritize accomplishment over comfort.”
From there, your habits become a way of living out that belief. Someone who holds that identity naturally supports it by:
- Taking care of their body consistently, even when life is busy
- Eating in a way that feels supportive instead of reactive
- Moving through the day with more energy and less stress
- Trusting themselves around food
When you start by identifying who do you want to be, your choices start to make more sense. You’re no longer asking, “Will this help me lose weight fast?” You’re asking, “Does this support the person I’m becoming?”
How This Makes Habits Easier
When habits are tied to identity, they stop feeling like chores. Someone who values their health doesn’t need constant motivation to eat lunch or take a walk. Those actions make sense because they align with who they are becoming.
This is what Chapter 11 emphasizes. Motivation lasts longer when it’s connected to meaning, not pressure. You don’t need to force yourself to change. You just need to reconnect with what actually matters to you.
Bringing This Into the New Year
As you move through January, try shifting the question you ask yourself.
Instead of: “What should I be doing?”
Try: “Who do I want to be this year, and what would support that?”
That one question can change how you approach food, movement, and self-care all year long. You don’t have to have the whole year figured out. You just need something meaningful to guide you. And sometimes, that’s the most motivating thing of all.
Ready to Take the Next Step?
Stuck between who you are now and who you want to be? Take our free Top Inner Roadblocks to Weight Loss Success Quiz to find out what’s blocking your progress.
Still searching for a reason that feels meaningful? Go back to Finding Your Prime Motivator to explore what matters most to you.
Source:
Loughrey K. Happy Life at a Healthy Weight: Creating a Shame Free, Healthy Relationship with Food and
Life. Authentic Wellness Publishing Company, LLC; 2024.
Zhana Ivanova
University of Maryland – Nutrition and Food Sciences
Kay Loughrey, MPH, RDN, LDN Transformational Speaker, Breakthrough Coach, Nutritionist-Dietitian
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Kay Loughrey, MPH, RDN, LDN is a licensed Nutritionist-Dietitian and a weight loss coach with 30+ years of experience in helping people lose weight and develop healthier relationships with food. She coaches her clients nationwide providing weight loss planning, video check-ins, and more. Schedule your free consultation.