When it comes to healthy habits, most of us focus on the end goal: “I want to lose weight” or “I want to eat better.” But true lasting motivation doesn’t come from chasing outcomes – it starts from the inside out, with who you believe you are.
Instead of asking “What do I want to achieve?” try asking “Who do I want to become?”
That’s where the Be → Do → Have model comes in. This powerful mindset shift that helps you create habits that actually stick.
Start from the Inside: BE
The first step is identifying who you want to BE. This means understanding your values, beliefs, and the kind of life you want to lead.
Maybe you want to be someone who ages with strength and confidence. Maybe you want to be a present, energetic parent. When your identity is your starting point, your actions naturally start to align with your vision.
This idea mirrors what James Clear explains in Atomic Habits. Instead of focusing on results (like a number on the scale), he recommends starting with your identity, because your actions are more likely to follow who you believe you are.
Make It Happen: DO
Once you know who you want to BE, the next step is figuring out what you’ll DO to live that identity. This could mean:
- Planning meals that support your energy
- Saying no to obligations that drain you
- Taking daily walks to feel grounded and strong
The goal isn’t perfection. It’s alignment. Each small action becomes a vote for the person you want to become.
Enjoy the Results: HAVE
Only after you start with BE and take aligned action in the DO stage, will you naturally begin to HAVE the results that reflect your new way of living.
Take Jeanette, for example. She didn’t just say “I want to lose weight.” She said “I want to become an example of healthy aging.” That identity helped guide her daily choices, and over time, those small steps led to big, lasting change.
Final Thoughts
You don’t have to wait until you reach a goal to start living like the person you want to be. Start now – beginning with your beliefs, your mindset, and the story you tell yourself.
When you shift your focus from what you want to have to who you want to be, motivation becomes something you build from within, and it’s much more likely to last.
Want to see this in action?
Read our last post: How Phil Found His Real Reason to Change, and discover how one small mindset shift helped him break free from emotional eating.
Curious what’s standing in your way?
Take our free quiz: Top Inner Roadblocks to Weight Loss Success and get personalized tips to build habits that stick.
Sources
- Loughrey K. Happy Life at a Healthy Weight, Creating a Shame Free, Healthy Relationship with Food and Life.Authentic Wellness Publishing Company, LLC; 2024.
- Clear J. Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones. Penguin Publishing Group; 2018.
Zhana Ivanova
University of Maryland – Nutrition and Food Sciences
Kay Loughrey, MPH, RDN, LDN Transformational Speaker, Breakthrough Coach, Nutritionist-Dietitian
Thank you for reading this blog post. Join the Sweet Life Newsletter to stay up to date on blog posts, events, and other ways to live your best sweet life.
Kay Loughrey, MPH, RDN, LDN is a licensed Nutritionist-Dietitian and a weight loss coach with 30+ years of experience in helping people lose weight and develop healthier relationships with food. She coaches her clients nationwide providing weight loss planning, video check-ins, and more. Schedule your free consultation.